Real Yoga Stories: Staying present in difficult moments

My 103 year old grandmother peacefully left us this past week. My family gathered in a small town in Kansas to honor and remember her, sad to see her go but so thankful that she had such a full and long life. As we went through the rituals of a Christian Catholic memorial: visitation, rosary, funeral mass and gravesite prayers, I found myself drawing on my yoga practice…finding my breath – rushed at first, shallow with tears welling up…and then as my attention turned to the pattern of my breath, it slowed, becoming more steady and strong.  It’s not that I didn’t want to cry or feel — but my main intention was that I wanted to be present.  I wanted to savor every moment of this celebration of my grandmother…laughing as we remembered her quotes (“If you don’t have laughter in your life, you might as well be dead”), and reconnecting with family & friends that we see every week and those we see every 10 years or so…

Yoga has helped me take a step back from the normal way I tend to approach or experience things…A funeral seems sad – we should just get through it, right?  Power through? To me, that’s the wrong approach…yoga teaches us to acknowledge what we’re feeling, thinking, experiencing and release it…let it go…  When we do that we notice new things, we find new ah-ha’s that were there all along but we’re too busy powering through…I drove 3 hours to a funeral to say goodbye to a wonderful lady and came back with much more including a truer perspective of myself.

My grandmother was always smiling – sometimes it looked more like a mischievous grin…especially after she claimed victory in her frequent game of pitch.  (She always won card games – even at 100+) Most of all, she fully enjoyed & experienced life – all the moments of life – not just the happy ones…she lived her life as a loving & dedicated wife, mother, grandmother, friend…She loved Jesus and lived her life in a way that reflected that… I can’t think of a better example for me…she was present in her life.